i sure must have a hispanic ancestor tucked away neatly out of sight in my family tree. a hot and hispanic great great great great grand father who eloped with a hot-blooded, adventurous, gypsy ancestress of mine. yes, that must be it.

what else could explain random hispanic strangers coming up to me and talking to me in spanish like i was some long lost cousin of theirs?

scene 1:
year - 2002
where - indian grocery store

subject moi is looking for some mustard seeds in an attempt to master the fine art of south indian cooking. hispanic guy, not cute, walks up to her and asks "para español?". subject just about comprehends that the guy is trying to confirm she is hispanic. but alas, that was just about as much spanish she knew. while she tries to proffer a suitable reaction, the guy goes on jabbering in a torrent of spanish for five whole minutes at the end of which the subject's bewildered expression very effectively conveys the fact that she had not understood a word of what he so eloquently tried to tell her. completely dissed he then walks away.

(and for heaven's sake this happened in an indian grocery store! )

scene 2:
year - 2003
where - CVS pharmacy store

subject is sauntering about in her favourite cash-back joint which she visits whenever she is strapped for cash (which is almost every second day). while she is trying to figure out the most economical way of getting cash-back without ending up with something she never did need in the first place, she is approached by a young woman who, to her utter consternation, starts conversing with her in spanish. she tries telling her in english that she neither spoke nor understood spanish. somehow it dawns on her than the spanish woman knew as much english as she did spanish. it was like the deaf trying to talk to the deaf!! of the few bits and pieces of spanish she had picked up over the year, our subject recognizes one - "natural". she looks around and finds that the aisle for compact foundation powders is right behind her. putting two and two together she decides to take a chance and assume the woman needs help looking for a "natural" shade of foundation. somehow, after a lot of pointing, nodding and more pointing and nodding the spanish woman finally picks something and flashing a confused, grateful smile heads to the checkout counter.

scene 3:
year - 2004
where - fort lauderdale airport

subject moi is trying to make her way to the security check and heads towards the queue leading up to it. between her and the last person in queue is a woman who looks like she can't quite make up her mind whether to stay in line or to leave. subject goes upto her and very politely says "excuse me". the lady, equally politely tells her something in spanish. subject has no idea what to say and so doles out her standard when-spoken-to-in-spanish reply "im sorry i dont understand spanish".the lady talks some more spanish and moves out of her way. subject gratefuly heads towards the queue.

scene 4:
year - 2004
where - bus stop at the metro station

subject moi is waiting for a bus. she's had a long day, is tired and hungry and not in her brightest of moods. a hispanic-looking guy walks into the shelter with a swagger and sits on the end on the bench she is sitting on. "where do you live?", he asks her. like she was going to tell him. she doesn't answer pretending she didn't notice him. "where does this bus go to?", he asks her, persisting. "this bus goes to reston", she says. "oh, i used to live in reston, now i live in herndon", says he. what the hell do i care, she thinks to herself but doesn't say a word. "are you spanish?", he asks her. subject is now completely, totally frustrated and could have really hurt him had she found anything within her reach that could cause significant damage. fortunately for the guy the subject's bus arrives just then.

to be continued...

current song Music of the Rivers by Hariprasad Chaurasia