homer simpson cracks me up!

"All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer."

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

"Marge, can we go home? All this fresh air is making my hair move and I don't know how long I can complain."

"I like my beer cold ... my TV loud ... and my homosexuals flaming. "

"I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, The Bus That couldn't Slow Down."

"Lurlee your song touched me in so many ways ... and which way to the can?"

current song Shimmer by Shawn Mullins