de-stress

while im working on an actual post, here's a filler..and a funny one to boot!

to all u gal pals:

BRIDGET JONES STRESS DIET

A specially formulated diet designed to help cope with the stress that
builds up during the day:

BREAKFAST
• 1 grapefruit
• 1 slice whole-wheat toast
• 1 cup skimmed milk

LUNCH
• Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
• Cup of herbal tea
• 1 miniature Mars bar

AFTERNOON TEA
• The rest of the mini Mars bars in the bag
• Tub of Hagen Daas ice cream with chocolate-chip topping

DINNER
• 4 bottles of wine (red or white)
• 2 loaves of garlic bread
• 1 family size supreme pizza
• 3 Snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK
• Whole frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

COMMON DIETARY RULES

1. If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories.

2. When drinking a Diet Coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the chocolate bar is cancelled out by the Diet Coke.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you eat less than they do.

4. Food used for medical purposes do NOT count (for example: hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake etc).

5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner.

6. Cinema related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake (this includes popcorn, Minties, Maltesers, Jaffas and frozen Cokes).

7. A biscuit broken into pieces has no calories because of calorie leakage caused by the breaking.

8. Food licked from knives and spoons whilst in the process of cooking has no fat.

9. Foods of the same colour have the same amount of fat. For example: spinach and peppermint ice cream; apples and red jelly snakes.

10. Chocolate is like a food-colour wildcard and maybe substituted for any other colour.

11. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass.

12. Food consumed from someone else’s plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person – fat will cling to his/her plate.

And remember “STRESSED” spelt backwards is “DESSERTS”!

current song Bolo Hari (Niraj Chag Remix) from Yoga Mela by Prem Joshua