i want to write…ohh i so want to write…something profound, something funny, something quirky, something dark, something, anything that will make this blog “earn” its link-age, justify its existence other then as a mere outlet for venting my single-line thoughts and rants or to post the words of a song that i’m currently getting my kicks out of.

i carry with me the burden of myriad thoughts. why is it that i find it so difficult to express them in words…lyrical, flowing words. words i have always found solace in. words chewed, assimilated, absorbed. again, i see no direction in what i write this minute. oh well...i walk to the mirror…hmmm, the same face stares back at me. closer. new scars and old. i close my eyes. an inexorable urge to weep. for the loneliness that i pretend is my pinnacle, for the uncertainty that hangs like a terribly heavy, terrifyingly dark cloud threatening to crush me out of existence, for all that i thought i was and all that i've discovered i am not. an overwhelming sense of loss...loss of time, loss of trust.

who stole from me my confidence of my rebellious youth? why am i bereft of the conviction of my own convictions?

untrusting, yet strong. unsure, yet steady. suspended in inanimation. maybe later, but not now, not this very moment, i am just not ready yet, to move.

and rahul, yes i agree, king of pain is a beautiful song. hadn't heard that one before. thank you.